Monday, December 19, 2005

Why did the chicken cross the road?

If you have worked in IT Consulting you will realise the following answer to a simple question could have only been answered by an over priced consultant from one of the Big Five Consulting companies (PWC,Anderson,KPMG,CGEY,D&T). I use the following also as a cheat sheet when responding to RFPs where I need to use big fancy words.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening it's dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Big Five Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking it's physical distribution strategy and implementation process. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Big Five helped the chicken use it's skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chickens people, processes and technology in support of it's overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Big Five Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Big Five consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.


Category: Software Industry Humour

10 Comments:

Blogger silverine said...

Funny:)) Check this out too.

December 20, 2005  
Blogger Mind the Lacuna said...

My dad has the worst sense of humour and he works at KPMG, I think he deserves it

December 20, 2005  
Blogger wanderstruck said...

Hey-some really good stuff here. Keep on blogging :-)

December 20, 2005  
Blogger Arun R said...

Saw ur latest profile photo. Good one!!! I've tried doing that but never succeeded.

Is there something about not showing ur face in the photos???

December 22, 2005  
Blogger Sushil said...

Nothing really about not showing my face other than that I didnt want to draw attention to my face :-) ...just felt this was a cool picture (esp since I shot it myself using self timer and after several attempts). I had taken this and my earlier profile shot as part of a photography competition ( www.dpchallenge.com) and had them lying around.

December 22, 2005  
Blogger Danesh said...

Great post as always! So is this in response to Kozhi and Seval inc 's RFP on crossing Poonamallee High Road? :)

December 22, 2005  
Blogger Danesh said...

And yes, the profile photo looks good too. Vanakkam saar!

December 22, 2005  
Blogger hope and love said...

lol..!

December 23, 2005  
Blogger lucyalexander5893 said...

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January 03, 2006  
Blogger jal said...

hahaha... so thats how consultants make money....

January 03, 2006  

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