The Strangest Call I Overheard at Office
Location: Desk of a colleague
Time: Around 3 PM
Call Type: Really Pesky Telemarketer Call.
The call was from some Big Name Bank wanting to convince my colleague to put in his hard earned money into infestments (thats how the caller pronouced “investments”). My colleague was pretty bugged(pun intended) by now that he was getting so many unsolicited calls on his work number so he wanted to have some fun and put the call on speakerphone.
From here on I will refer to the Telemarketer as TM and my Colleague as C and I overheard from this part onwards:
TM: Please saar infest some of your money in our XYZ funt (fund) or Midi-Kapi (mid cap) infestments.
C: Am not interested in this please. Please do not call at this number again.
TM: But saar this is a very eggciting offer we have to give you ….
C: Am not interested in this … please do not disturb me at work.
C: How did you get this number
TM: Sorry sir to disrupt you at work, you work a large company ? no ?
C: Actually I dont work for a large company…
TM(confused): You work for what then saar ?
C: I have my own business.
TM: What kind of business ?
C: Charayam distillation and distribution (Charayam - Liquor)
TM(Really Confused): Sir are you being serious ?
C: Yes of course …you asked me what business and this is what I do. Is there a problem ?
TM: Actually yes there may be a problem as we require Tax filing proofs.
C: Yes that may be a problem as I dont have tax proofs.
TM (Stunned silence): …..
C: Actually I have never filed taxes in my life ….
C: Come to think of it ..I could get into trouble if I filed taxes ..yes ?
TM (Still shocked): …..um… hmmm… err …
TM( Trying to recover): Saaar do you have a bank account ?
C: I dont have a bank account …that is only for white money !
TM: Saar what do you mean ?
C: I mean I also have my own printing press for Rs 500 & Rs 1000 notes …so I dont have to ever worry about money or taxes ….and so I dont need a bank … I print when I need money !
TM (Still stunned silence …I can hear background noise but no voice still): …..
C: Would you like to come join my operations …I am looking to expand into Banking line since anyways I can print money ..need to make some white money… need some marketing support …
TM: Sssir … please be serious…
C: I am serious … I have a job offer for you monthly pay : as many bundles of Rs500 you can print in 2 hours. How is that …when can you join me at work here ?
TM: S.s.s sir I have to talk to my supervisor …
C: Please go talk to your supervisor and not call this number again. “Click”
Note: This seems to be an increasing problem office facilities where we receive calls from outside numbers where the banks/card/loan companies seem to have found one number and then use that number to then dial all other extensions in sequence till they find someone who answers.
From our side we see an unknown number but cant ignore the call just in case it is either a team member/onsite member/family member trying to reach you in an emergency.
I dont have a solution to the problem other than such creative answers to give when bugged at work or on the mobile phone by telemarketers … let us be polite …but can we be creative ? Yes Of Course !